Thursday, August 14, 2008

Fallen Angels: Slick But Still a Boring Mess

Fallen Angels boasts all the usual modern horror film visuals (i.e. clich├ęs). Quick MTV edits, grim desaturated colors, gore, etc. Even so, the film is a boring mess.

Confused story. I don't think I would have known what was going on, except I'd read the DVD box before hand, and the characters kept filling me in on stuff they'd learned. (And I'd wonder: how did they figure that out? -- it's not in the film.)

Films opens with stereotypical drunken, horny teens. One's killed, another's kidnapped. Then we're at this prison about to be torn down. We find skeletons in the basement. The FBI comes in to investigate. Turns out many skeletons are over 100 years old.

People die. Some from demons, some from a killer. We find more skeletons. Killed by different people.

More people die, seemingly at random. In the end we learn it has something to do with 7 demons in charge of the 7 deadly sins. Yet I can't really figure out which thinly sketched character was supposed to be guilty of which sin.

Also, a mother is seeking her kidnapped daughter. And an FBI agent discusses his early years as a pastor in Mexico. Where some demon-possessed boy was killed by vigilante villagers.

The FBI agent/pastor also converses with a demon. This demon has really cheap makeup, like in a sitcom. He sounds like some whiny character from a Jerry Seinfeld episode.

I won't give a spoiler, but know that the ending is really unexpected, in a weird way. Not entertaining. Not gripping or anything horrific. Just out of the ballpark.

The production values are slick. But the acting is flat, and the writing is awful.

The best 7 deadly sins film is THE DEVIL WALKS AT MIDNIGHT, aka The Devil's Nightmare. An early 1970s Euro-horror film.